Fat People in America

Fat people……it’s a subject I’d been avoiding to put on my blog but I can no longer resist. Why can I not resist? Because people don’t seem to be getting the point. We don’t just have fat people in America. We don’t just have obese people. WE HAVE MONSTERS!!!! Michelle Obama talks about it….so that’s my go ahead, though I’ll probably be a bit harsher than the First Lady.

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All prejudice aside for a moment, yes there are some people who have glandular problems and it’s a little more difficult for them to lose weight. Those people have actual health issues and need an even stricter lifestyle regiment and medication in order to achieve the goal of reducing their size. Years ago, while making fun of fat people, I was rightfully put in my place by a friend who stood up on behalf of a relative who had serious weight & health issues through no fault of their own. I’m sorry for that. I did my research…..I get it now. Not all people are fully in control of how much weight they gain.

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That being said, there are a lot more FAT PEOPLE who are in COMPLETE CONTROL of themselves than those who cannot help being big. These are the types of people who weigh 1,000 lbs. 1,000 pounds!!! At a certain point they lose the ability to walk or even stand up…..so WHO KEEPS BRINGING THEM FOOD!?! Some people actually have the goal of weighing 1,000 pounds. WHAT!?! This world is weird and corrupt and depressing at times….but WHAT!?! That means they knowingly continue eating, because they’re idiots or they think they’re depressed, and they have an enabler that buys them foods and wipes their butts…..because HOW CAN YOU WIPE YOUR ASS WHEN YOU’RE THAT FAT!!!??!!!

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These are the types of plop-bags that I can’t feel empathy for. So, for very large people who want to prevent being said plop-bags… Here’s some advice from a friend of mine. ‘You want to lose weight? EXERCISE!!! AND STOP EATING!!!’. Simple enough, yes? Even for above average people, it’s really not that difficult and you do not need all these silly ‘flavor of the month’ dieting fads. Just exercise more and don’t eat as much and at the same time, eat healthier foods. THAT’S IT!!! At one time in my life I was a little overweight. I had poor eating & exercise habits. In the first week on my new diet I lost 10 lbs and that was without exercise. Do you know what I did? I stopped eating bread, cheese and processed foods and overall… I ate less. In the following weeks I changed my diet even more and began exercising. I then reached my goal of losing 25 lbs. It’s the same if you’re 300 lbs overweight. Eat less. Eat healthier. And exercise. Or else you will look like THIS BLOB.

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Did you know that more than 1/3rd of adults in America are obese? That’s a lot. Why are we so fat? Lots of reasons! Here’s a list of my thoughts on why we’re fat. 1) We eat too much 2) We’re cowards who have such low self-esteem that ANYTHING will set us off and make us go on eating binges. 3) Even if we don’t gorge ourselves, we eat really unhealthy foods (including a lot of fast food). 4) No one walks anywhere. We just drive, drive, drive, which makes us lazy 5) We drink too much SODA!! & eat too many sugared things.

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It’s your choice. If you’re an American you have certain freedoms and you can do what you want. I don’t 100% agree with proposed programs such as former Mayor Bloomberg’s which would limit the size of drinks or foods you’d be allowed to purchase….but I do agree that there are TOO MANY IDIOTS in this country. If collectively, we had more common sense, we’d never put such disgusting things and such copious amounts of disgusting things into our bodies… so making a law about it wouldn’t even be an issue. But it is an issue……because we LOVE BEING FAT IDIOTS.

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Oh the humanity you may say. What would America be without peopleofwalmart.com and big, gross morons to make fun of? I tell you’d what we’d be….WE’D BE AWESOME!!! We’d be a huge country of healthy, amazing and intelligent people that walked everywhere, did GLORIOUS things and left a small footprint for the future generations. You know how many fat people I see when I travel outside of this country? Maybe 1 out of 200. And that ‘fat’ person would fall under our American term of ‘chubby’. You know how many obese people I see when I travel outside of this country? Maybe 1 in 500. Likewise, that obese term is reduced to ‘fat’ in America. I actually didn’t see ONE fat or obese person when I last traveled to Europe. Why are they so skinny? Is it because they’re poor or they don’t have FREEDOM? NO!!! It’s because they’re not halfwits!!! They live close to their job, hence they walk or ride a bike to work instead of driving, they buy healthy & nutritious foods at the store, they eat in small quantities, they socialize more and view meals as a time to enjoy other peoples company rather than a time to EAT EVERYTHING and inhale filthy foods like a vacuum cleaner. Sure they’ve got their fair share of dummies and inept doofus’s too but on the whole it’s a healthier culture….LIKE OURS SHOULD BE.

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To be fair, yes, there are lots of smart, sexy, attractive people in this country that have fantastic eating habits, amazing exercise routines and enjoy life TO THE MAX. I’m not saying that America is devoid of AMAZING PEOPLE. There are just a lot of FAT IDIOTS TOO!! Why am I not afraid of offending people? Because sometimes you just have to PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE FACE in order to get them to change. It’s like when I had a fight with a good friend in the past, she had to get in my face, yell at me and tell me I was a moron because you NEVER TELL A GIRL SHE DOESN’T LOOK GOOD WHEN SHE ASKS YOU, ‘Do I look good in these jeans?’. I learned my lesson. Ladies…you look great in everything you wear.

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Therapists please, stop coddling fat people when they come to your office pretending that they’re depressed. Just tell them that they’d stop being depressed if they STOPPED EATING SO MUCH. There are multitudes of ‘big boned’ people who have a larger body type, who eat healthy and who are totally cool and happy with themselves. Great!! Join me! Join us! Let’s save America from all the gigantic, monster-sized fat people!!

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Like I said earlier, if you can’t do anything about your situation, you just gotta roll with it. I have big feet. I can’t make my feet smaller so I can fit into a size 10 shoe. It is what it is. Some people are big. They’ll always have a big body and be somewhat chubby. Ok. You just gotta be happy with who you are. But it’s a pretty simple concept for those blubbery, monster people out there to grasp. Be healthy. Eat less. Walk more. Exercise more. Drink more water. The world had it’s fun and we don’t want to make fun of you anymore. We want you to be healthy. Look down below and you’ll never overeat again.

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If you’re really, really, really, really fat and you read this…hey the truth hurts. You can change for the better. You’ll be healthier. You’ll have a normal range of motion. You’ll live longer. AND YOU’LL FEEL BETTER. Look….even Jonah Hill got skinnier…..kind of. If you have a fat friend, don’t show them this blog because they’ll get mad at you. Also don’t hang out with them when they invite you out to a fast food death trap such as Taco Bell, Burger King or McDonald’s etc. etc. Maybe you can BUY THEM A SALAD!!!! instead (sorry that was rude). But you’re their friend…you can help them in some way.

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There will always be different shapes of people in this world. And I pray that we can purge America of the army of obese monsters one day. I hope you’ve enjoyed this M.A.V.B.L.O.G. and that it entertained or educated you in some way. As always. Be good to yourself. Be good to others. Be good to animals. Have a great day!