The Becoming 2015 Movie Review

I love great movies. We all do. And I also love bad movies that are so, so, so bad that it makes them amazing. Why? I guess it’s the part of me that likes being dumfounded about bad filmmaking to the point where it makes me laugh hysterically. And hey….these filmmakers were trying to make a good movie….or a decent one. I’ve made films. Sometimes it just doesn’t turn out so well. But to make a movie so bad that it eclipses all other bad movies….now that is something special. James Cameron couldn’t do it even if he’d tried to. So, if you’re into bad cult movies…. for the love of God watch The Becoming 2015. In my opinion, it takes the ‘worst movie ever made’ title away from Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. Sorry Tommy, Geovanni Molina has got you beat. Scenes devoid of lighting, descriptive text that flies so fast across the screen that you can’t read it, moronic improvisation, awful audio mixing, insane enthusiasm for catholicism & a strange obsession with triceps all make this movie amazingly bad. I’m not writing this to just bash The Becoming 2015 because at this point I’ve seen it 5 times. When a filmmaker can trigger repeat viewings in their audience…hey, they’ve done something right. And it keeps getting better and better (or worse and worse) with each viewing. I’ll give you a brief rundown here because the trailer just doesn’t do it justice.

Just look at that credit. A MAN IS CHOSEN. If that doesn’t get you pumped up for the flawless imperfection that this movie is….than I just don’t know what to do. Alright…here we go. A husband and wife lose their daughter in a freak neighborhood car accident. They’re mourning her loss and the swarthy (or trying to be swarthy) Latino husband is super bummed and can’t get over it. Meanwhile, the grieving eastern European wife is left to take care of their son. Just then the skies open up and some demon vampires with bad haircuts and pointy teeth show up on the scene, turning humans into demons, vampires, zombies and zombie clowns. All is not lost though, God sends down the Archangel Gabriel, who whisper yells all of his dialogue as if he’s the frontman for some bad butt-rock band. He’s also got this weird lightsaber sword that he cuts his wings of with, which he promptly discards before he speed runs, cape and all, to a local boxing club so he can steal some clothes from a guy who is 3 sizes smaller than him. And like magic, the bad ass leather jacket fits him perfectly. Interested yet? It gets better.

Spoilers Ahead. For the majority of the film, the entire cast whisper yells their dialogue. I don’t know if the filmmaker was an admirer of Christian Bale’s Batman or a huge fan of Shinedown… either way, WTF. It’s pretty ridiculous too because the films soundtrack is so loud that you can barely hear the dialogue, which is also a WTF… in a genius kind of way. Especially for the big back story reveal of why the demons came in the first place….unless you have subtitles on it’s impossible to discern what Gabriel whisper yells as the music blares away. It will make you want to pull your hair out for the entire viewing. And God bless the two guys who play the overweight, hairy backed Goomba’s. Did you know that they want to go into the restaurant business together? This movie has got REMARKABLE written all over it. I mean, there’s an epic fight where Archangel Gabriel pushes a demon into punching bags over and over again to dorky stock electronica music. There are stellar lines such as, ‘I’m not Rick you stupid mortal. My name is Nemesis.’ & ‘Listen Vinny, you’re not crazy. God has chosen you’. ‘You’re crazy! God would never choose me. I lie. I cheat. I steal’ & lastly the best line of the whole movie, ‘I love you too Jesus’. The filmmakers had plenty of time to find background extras, do costuming and make-up but somewhere along the line they forgot to rent lighting equipment or take the camera off of auto focus. The scene on the street at 35 minutes in, between Gabriel and Vinny, is even more asinine than the flower shop scene in The Room. It would take a whole blog just to analyze how unbelievable their interaction is and….these are the little things that make this movie so horribly memorable. Once you see the characters jiggling on the ground to rattlesnake noises as they get transformed into vampires….you’ll be hooked.

I’ve said enough. You’ve just gotta see this movie for yourself. It’s been on Amazon Prime for the past year. If for some reason it’s not free….I’d advise paying the few dollars for this train wreck of a movie, especially if you’re a filmmaker or film student. The Becoming 2015 is remarkably bad and that’s why it’s amazing. Geovanni Molina’s follow up film is Demonia Undertaker, about an alien that comes to earth to destroy the human race. Gee, that sounds like The Becoming 2015 with an Alien instead of Vampire Angels. The poster looks like a Latin Luke Skywalker and Jenna Haze in a Star Wars/Event Horizon hybrid. Sign me up. It’s gonna be amazing. I’ll watch anything this guy makes.

Seriously Geovanni Molina…I’m not just taking the piss. I thought The Becoming 2015 was bad. But I love it as much as I love Big Trouble in Little China. Kudos to you my man. Keep making movies. I hope that this blog has added to your life in some way. As always. Be good to yourself. Be good to others. Plants, Animals and Humans alike. And follow The Golden Rule as best as you can. Have a great day.

It’s Been A While

It’s been about 6 months since my last post. Such is life. So, what will I be writing about today? Change and Shifting perspectives. Ya see…..I’ve gone through some transformative experiences lately. Not all of them were totally new revelations… mostly they were reminders of things I’ve needed to shore up in my life and continue to fix (physically and mentally). Some were concepts that I already knew and figured out in years past but I just needed a kick in the ass to remember them and consistently apply them to my life. And some things just plain sucked. Reassess. Reassemble. Rebuild. Isn’t that how it goes? That’s life. Shit happens. And you move on.

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Here’s a question for ya…..Have you noticed with yourself, your family or with your friends and colleagues that people are going through big shifts? With work, relationships, personal transformations, etc…? Yes? No? I’ve noticed it over the last few months. Friends & colleagues are going through tough times. Stable people that seemed they’d never be shaken are being shook. Weak people are being hit with tests. Strong people are being hit with bigger tests. And ya know what? I don’t see the bad  in it….well then again…. sometimes I do because hey man, some things in life are just really, really, shitty… let’s be honest. And metaphysically speaking, these outside experiences that I’m noticing could simply be a reflection of my own inner experience. That’s a Solopsistic viewpoint, though an accepted one in this ‘new age’. Whatever the mental approach, No one will ever know for sure what version of reality is valid, unless YOU know. See what I’m saying? Maybe things are meant to be….and maybe we just give the randomness meaning…or both! But today’s blog isn’t about positing on the fabrics of reality. It’s about people making shifts. A multitude of people that I’ve recently encountered, whether they’re close to me or not, are going through issues and important turning points that, if handled properly, can lead to even more important discoveries and improvements. Is it because the Astrological signs are jacked up? Is it because Donald Trump is all over the news pissing people off? Is it because The Kings of Leon aren’t super popular anymore? Who knows?

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Why do I blog about this? It’s because I’ve learned and I greatly respect the value of using a negative experience and turning it into something positive and transformative and I hope you’ll learn that too and apply it to your life. Why? Because it’s helpful. Look man….some things hurt. Life aint all sunshine and rainbows. But ya know what…..No Pain. No Gain. And sometimes the best way to effect real, lasting change in yourself, your life, the lives of those around you, in society, in the world, in the universe and on and on and on….is to use a painful experience and come through it in a positive way. That’s just a part of life. That’s the truth. You can’t just pop pills, drink alcohol, do drugs everyday or do yoga & meditate once a year and say that ‘you’re all good’. It’s good to have vices here and there….we’re human after all… but you’ve gotta dive into the hurt. So use it. Use that pain. Use that experience. Feel it all. Get through the negative aspects. Keep pushing. And make yourself better. Because there are AMAZING things in this world. And YOU can be AMAZING.

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I’m no doctor. I’m no therapist. I’ve just been around the block and I’ve stepped in a few piles of dog shit along the way. I’m not gonna tell you the meaning of life because only YOU know what the meaning of your life is. No quote posting social media philosopher can tell you what’s best for YOU either (we’re all guilty of it). Not even Deepak Chopra or Oprah or The Pope can tell you what’s right for YOU. I’m not gonna tell you that your situation is easy. Dude….maybe it really sucks. And someone’s always got it better and someones always got it worse than you do. It’s not about comparisons though. It’s about getting through those problems in a healthy and beneficial way.

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At one time in my life (2007 to be exact), I went a little nuts because I wasn’t prepared to handle what life threw at me…and it was one of the best things for me. Why? Because I used that difficult series of events to transform and improve upon myself and I filmed it all as a therapy exercise. The experience made me stronger. It prepared me for tough times that came in the future. Was it easy? HELL NO. It was awful. It was torturous. It was embarrassing. I had to hit rock bottom and rebuild myself. I’m sure you know what I mean. And I just want to share my film on here in the off chance that it may help and/or entertain someone. There’s some wisdom. There’s some insanity. There’s some stupidity. Maybe you’ll find something useful. Maybe you’ll think it’s crap. Hey….who knows? It’s life. We’re all just people and we’re doing our best. Nobody’s Perfect. You’ve got an illness? Someone died? You were in a war? You’re a refugee? You’re an orphan? You’ve got a broken heart? You got divorced? You’re in rehab? You lost your perfect job? Whatever it is. You can push through and things are going to be much better on the other side.

Thanks for reading this M.A.V.B.L.O.G. I hope it’s added to your life in some way. As always. Do your best. Improve where you can. Be kind to plants, animals and humans alike. And always follow The Golden Rule. And if you are one of those going through a tough time….keep going. It’s gonna be ok. It’s just life.

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God: My 18 year old self

Here’s a bit of my own personal philosophy in a very fun way. It’s in the God section because well, finding God is a personal journey of self-discovery, whether you think it or not, in your limited or unlimited belief system.

I find that this is a pretty fun and simple exercise to help you step out of the box and be a bit objective about yourself. When I’m in a situation where I find myself acting strange or unlike my ‘normal’ self and set of behaviors or I’m just plain bored, I like to step back and say, ‘What would my 18 year old self say? What would my 18 year old self do? Would he be pissed at me or proud of me?’. Now when I was 18 I was relaxed and I wasn’t too worried. The most important thing to me was having fun, laughing and being level inside (peaceful- a state of bliss), playing guitar, hanging out with friends, making a short film, scoring some beer and drinking, smoking some pot, going for a run, practicing martial arts with friends, goofing off, having a chanting session with bongos with friends, going for a walk in the woods, playing soccer, hanging out with my girlfriend, going to a movie…those were my main concerns. I was a pretty happy go lucky, fun guy. Your typical high school teenager I guess you could say.

So I found myself, not too long ago, standing in the kitchen of a friends apartment, with my girlfriend at the time, sitting on a chair, my friend standing at the stove and his wife sitting at the table. There was a 30 pack of beer sitting in the corner. I don’t remember exactly but I think we were talking about tea, soup & politics and we couldn’t decide what to eat for dinner. I just started laughing. My friends said, ‘What?’. And I said to them, ‘Man would our 18 year old selves be pissed off at us.’ Again, the response was, ‘What!?!’. Then I said to my friend, ‘Look. We’re standing around here with two really hot girls that are attracted to us. There’s a 30 pack of beer sitting in the corner. There’s food in the house. There’s music on the stereo. We’re not drinking. We’re just standing around bickering about life and we can’t decide what to eat. Our 18 year old selves would be thrilled to have beer, so they’d be drinking. They’d be thrilled to have girlfriends, so they’d either be hooking up with them, trying to hook up with them or goofing off with them. Our 18 year old selves wouldn’t really care where or what we ate, so they’d just make some mac n cheese or pasta and be super excited about it!’. My friend looked at me, laughed, and agreed. Thus, I started to frequently look at situations with how my 18 year old self would react.

It’s a really simple exercise and I think it can possibly help you. Now I don’t know how you were or who you were at 18. Perhaps you’re a lot of fun to be around now at age 57 and you’re mellow and centered. Maybe you were a dick head at age 18 or mean piece of crap. I don’t know. So if 18 doesn’t work for you. Use an age that you’re happy with. At the very least it’ll take away some boredom and you’ll have a laugh. I hope you’ve enjoyed this M.A.V.B.L.O.G. and I hope it leads to improving your life in some way. Oh yeah, here’s a picture of actress Seregon O’Dassey who I worked with on my film ‘Kung Fu and Titties’. Why say that totally random thing? Why not? And it is my blog. Plus, it’s a really cool picture. Enjoy.

As always. Be good to yourself. Be good to your family & friends. Be respectful to all those you encounter- humans, animals and plants alike. And have fun!!

God: There’s more to life than BUTT IMPLANTS!!!

My last M.A.V.B.L.O.G. was about a more serious subject…..so let’s have something funny today. For my first post in the GOD category we will talk about the perplexing trend of…..butt implants.

Imagine that you’re the almighty God. Allah. Buddha. The Great Spirit. The Great Architect. Whatever….you’re it. You’re God. You created the Heavens and the Earth. You created the entire universe. You exist beyond time. You are all knowing and all powerful. You created humans……you probably created dozens of other races as well on different planets, in different galaxies and in different solar systems. So even though you’re all powerful…..maybe you got a little tired and took a vacation. Let’s say you went a million light years away to check on another star system and hang out with some old buddies. Then after about a thousand earth years you said to yourself, ‘Hey let me go see how things are progressing. I bestowed them with so many gifts. They’re bound to be doing something great’.

Ok…so you whisk back to earth to check things out on your creation, human beings. You haven’t been around for 1,000 years….you know there’s bound to be some mistakes….but you know there will be great things too. So you look around…..wow ok. Democratized nations. Clean water. Abundant food in some countries. The discovery of gravity and electricity and the atom. Great!!! The widespread knowledge that the world isn’t flat. Space travel! Education! Advances in science, technology, healthcare and medicine. Wonderful! Hey….there’s still corruption, greed, wars and poverty…..but humans are getting there. Good job, good job. And then you start to look a little closer.

Necrophilia? That still happens? Ugh. Pedophilia? Come on guys I thought we got past that. Politicians and lobbyists and the greedy super rich? Come on people. There’s enough wealth and food and prosperity to go around for everyone in the world. Everyone! Figure it out already. Change the system. I gave you infinite and unlimited brains. Start expanding your minds. Maybe it’ll take another 1,000 years….but I hope it’ll come sooner. Pollution? Really people!? Come on. Don’t you get it? One earth. One! Not two. Fix it……. Plastic surgery? That’s weird. I gave humans everything they needed. Individuality was a gift. I didn’t intend for such widespread insecurity. Wait…..what’s this….. BUTT IMPLANTS!!!!!!! Are you kidding me!!!!??? People put sacks of chemicals in their butts!!!?? Why!!!??? So they can look better?……..and attract sexual partners? Really? Come on……it’s not that hard to attract someone. I gave you pheromones. And brains!!! You can attract someone to have sex with on your own….WITHOUT BUTT IMPLANTS!!! That lady spent her life savings on a butt implant!!! What!!!??? And look….you get old. You get wrinkly. That’s a part of life. Deal with it. You’re only human after all.

…..well what should I do? I mean…..this is very confusing to me. Butt implants!!! Should I just blow them up and start over? I could make a giant tidal wave. But……I don’t want to hit the reset button just yet. And I can’t go killing people who have butt implants. Then it’ll probably get even more popular. And people will start to hate me or not believe in me. Well……I guess I’ll just disappear for another 1,000 years and see what happens. Maybe that will work…………So…….what would you do?

I hope you enjoyed this post. Go online and look up butt implants and watch some interviews of people who get them. It just boggles the mind. I’m all for people having nice butts. It’s great. But come on…..this is just silly. Have a great day and if you like American Football….. enjoy the superbowl!!