I love great movies. We all do. And I also love bad movies that are so, so, so bad that it makes them amazing. Why? I guess it’s the part of me that likes being dumfounded about bad filmmaking to the point where it makes me laugh hysterically. And hey….these filmmakers were trying to make a good movie….or a decent one. I’ve made films. Sometimes it just doesn’t turn out so well. But to make a movie so bad that it eclipses all other bad movies….now that is something special. James Cameron couldn’t do it even if he’d tried to. So, if you’re into bad cult movies…. for the love of God watch The Becoming 2015. In my opinion, it takes the ‘worst movie ever made’ title away from Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. Sorry Tommy, Geovanni Molina has got you beat. Scenes devoid of lighting, descriptive text that flies so fast across the screen that you can’t read it, moronic improvisation, awful audio mixing, insane enthusiasm for catholicism & a strange obsession with triceps all make this movie amazingly bad. I’m not writing this to just bash The Becoming 2015 because at this point I’ve seen it 5 times. When a filmmaker can trigger repeat viewings in their audience…hey, they’ve done something right. And it keeps getting better and better (or worse and worse) with each viewing. I’ll give you a brief rundown here because the trailer just doesn’t do it justice.
Just look at that credit. A MAN IS CHOSEN. If that doesn’t get you pumped up for the flawless imperfection that this movie is….than I just don’t know what to do. Alright…here we go. A husband and wife lose their daughter in a freak neighborhood car accident. They’re mourning her loss and the swarthy (or trying to be swarthy) Latino husband is super bummed and can’t get over it. Meanwhile, the grieving eastern European wife is left to take care of their son. Just then the skies open up and some demon vampires with bad haircuts and pointy teeth show up on the scene, turning humans into demons, vampires, zombies and zombie clowns. All is not lost though, God sends down the Archangel Gabriel, who whisper yells all of his dialogue as if he’s the frontman for some bad butt-rock band. He’s also got this weird lightsaber sword that he cuts his wings of with, which he promptly discards before he speed runs, cape and all, to a local boxing club so he can steal some clothes from a guy who is 3 sizes smaller than him. And like magic, the bad ass leather jacket fits him perfectly. Interested yet? It gets better.
Spoilers Ahead. For the majority of the film, the entire cast whisper yells their dialogue. I don’t know if the filmmaker was an admirer of Christian Bale’s Batman or a huge fan of Shinedown… either way, WTF. It’s pretty ridiculous too because the films soundtrack is so loud that you can barely hear the dialogue, which is also a WTF… in a genius kind of way. Especially for the big back story reveal of why the demons came in the first place….unless you have subtitles on it’s impossible to discern what Gabriel whisper yells as the music blares away. It will make you want to pull your hair out for the entire viewing. And God bless the two guys who play the overweight, hairy backed Goomba’s. Did you know that they want to go into the restaurant business together? This movie has got REMARKABLE written all over it. I mean, there’s an epic fight where Archangel Gabriel pushes a demon into punching bags over and over again to dorky stock electronica music. There are stellar lines such as, ‘I’m not Rick you stupid mortal. My name is Nemesis.’ & ‘Listen Vinny, you’re not crazy. God has chosen you’. ‘You’re crazy! God would never choose me. I lie. I cheat. I steal’ & lastly the best line of the whole movie, ‘I love you too Jesus’. The filmmakers had plenty of time to find background extras, do costuming and make-up but somewhere along the line they forgot to rent lighting equipment or take the camera off of auto focus. The scene on the street at 35 minutes in, between Gabriel and Vinny, is even more asinine than the flower shop scene in The Room. It would take a whole blog just to analyze how unbelievable their interaction is and….these are the little things that make this movie so horribly memorable. Once you see the characters jiggling on the ground to rattlesnake noises as they get transformed into vampires….you’ll be hooked.
I’ve said enough. You’ve just gotta see this movie for yourself. It’s been on Amazon Prime for the past year. If for some reason it’s not free….I’d advise paying the few dollars for this train wreck of a movie, especially if you’re a filmmaker or film student. The Becoming 2015 is remarkably bad and that’s why it’s amazing. Geovanni Molina’s follow up film is Demonia Undertaker, about an alien that comes to earth to destroy the human race. Gee, that sounds like The Becoming 2015 with an Alien instead of Vampire Angels. The poster looks like a Latin Luke Skywalker and Jenna Haze in a Star Wars/Event Horizon hybrid. Sign me up. It’s gonna be amazing. I’ll watch anything this guy makes.
Seriously Geovanni Molina…I’m not just taking the piss. I thought The Becoming 2015 was bad. But I love it as much as I love Big Trouble in Little China. Kudos to you my man. Keep making movies. I hope that this blog has added to your life in some way. As always. Be good to yourself. Be good to others. Plants, Animals and Humans alike. And follow The Golden Rule as best as you can. Have a great day.